CTCB Preview: Spiderman Musical with Bono??

Every Tuesday we'll sadly celebrate the death of an art form or aspect of culture once held in high regard. Our first entry to be celebrated -

The death of the Theatre.

“I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being."
- Oscar Wilde (giving us early clues to his sexuality)

If that quote rings true to you, perhaps we should show you in our own Cynically Tested Channel way, the most immediate way in which human beings are sharing the sense of what it is to be a human being in 2008.

The Cynically Tested Channel Blahg! Proudly presents Humanity 2008.

SPIDERMAN THE MUSICAL! Featuring the Music of Bono and Edge. Read the tale of humanity here.

How it was pitched:

"Okay, so here's our new idea, are ya ready? Imagine Miss Saigon meets Phantom of the Opera..yeah, yeah do you love it yet?- except the Phantom is a spider/man and Saigon is New York... Instead of a Helicopter we have a man who is an octopus/mad scientist... Okay, Okay aannnd instead of the Vietnam war it's the Iraq war.. No, No, you're right, okay scratch that, too much substance.. umm okay the Vietnam war isn't a war at all, Innn-stead..it's the band U2...! "

How it was actually conceived Pt 2.: (Overheard in a Basement in Ohio):

Dude 1: Spiderman is so freakin cool, but it was missing something though.

Dude 2: Batman?

Dude 1: wtf-?

Dude 2: Guy, sorry but it's illegal to blog this summer without giving unnecessary hype to Batman.

Dude 1: Anyways, I'm just saying Spiderman was f-ing awesome and all but it needs something more soo when they remake it in ten years with darker undertones of psycho babble it still owns.

Dude 2: I had a dream once where Spiderman wore giant Sunglasses and saved Mary Jane from starving in Africa by piling all the world's debt on to The Green Goblin's back.

Dude 1: Dude, I soo have an idea.

End SCENE.

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Okay, so many of you are saying "umm guys, give me one thing that's not cool about Peter Parker swinging over the audience to save Mary Jane all to a soundtrack provided by an echo pedal?"

Touche, I suppose. Theatre lives!

Okay, so now that we've decided Spiderman: The Musical is our generation's RENT. We need to cast this sucker!

Obviously, all you actors want to be a part of 'Spiderman the Musical'.

Well we here at the CTC blog think you'd be good for the "Principal Woman".

Casting Notes: "The Principal Woman should be "female, 25-35 years old [with] amazing rock vocals. Think Sinead O'Connor with a Middle Eastern/Bulgarian/Greek twist."

....Umm sorry? No, no wait we have the perfect person!

HA!- You've totally been Pat-rick-rolled - Stewart that is!

Oh and one more thing they want you to know that at the Spiderman Musical auditions

"All ethnicities are encouraged to audition."

Everybody sing "Spiderman, Spiderman...Ethnically Sensitive Spiderman... " take it away Edge! (spider, spider, spider, spider, man, man, man, man...etc)

Now, Now. I know that new theatre isn't all bad and browsing playbill's website gave us here at the CTC blog a lot of hope for it's future!

Here are some other actual (we only wish we were making them up) theatre shows we've found out about that are playing now!

A Chorus Line with Mario Lopez - For more click here - Preppy.


Whoopi Goldberg in Xanadu: Finally the answer to the rhetorical question "Could anything be worse than Xanadu the movie?".

And in Legally Blonde: the Musical, critics await the most anticipated Broadway debut of the year. Playing the part that Reese Witherspoon made famous... MTV WINNER!

To see MTV WINNER'S Bio - Click Here

Oh, MTV reality shows- we can't begin to describe your contributions to the fine institution of theatre!

And finally not to be outdone -The Cynically Tested Channel proudly presents our newest contribution to the fine art of theatre!

MINDFREAK: THE CRISS ANGEL STORY WITH AN ALL KISS SCORE!

Stay Tuned For Casting Notes!